Book and Video Reviews

"Single Parent Double Power" submitted and written by Catherine Glennie

FOREWORD
If there is ever a time in your life when you come face to face with who you are, becoming a single parent is that time! Your strengths and fears, your shortcomings and basic beliefs about life... all will come under the spotlight - it will be YOUR moment of truth. And yes it may be a painful process but you will certainly come out of it stronger, more confident and more in control of your own life.
Setting out to build a worthwhile and meaningful life, joy-filled, is one of the greatest opportunities you will ever have. Believe me I am not advocating divorce, I see it as the only healthy alternative to a bad, unhappy marriage. And should divorce be a way of making a better, safer, life for yourself and your children then my message is this "you can achieve joy, success, and fulfilment on your own!"
With the right attitude and approach to building a new life you can become the person you wish to be. You can achieve success in your personal life. You can achieve success in your business life. You can have the most rewarding relationships with your children, one that is closer and deeper than most two-parent families experience. You really can achieve your wildest dreams!
How can I say this with such conviction? Well it is because I have done it myself, against the most awful odds. And this book is about sharing my experiences, insights and success techniques with you in the knowledge that they will help you turn a painful experience into an amazingly good one.
Each chapter contains many concepts and techniques that may be new to you. I suggest that you read the book through once. Absorb as much as you can without putting pressure on yourself to remember all the detail. Then take a breather and go back and start at the beginning. Work thoroughly through each chapter with a view to mastering each new concept or technique presented in that chapter.
Take your time, use the book as you might a study guide. In the same way as students at school are presented with a manual to work through, you too should spend time learning the techniques and becoming familiar with the concepts. And the beauty of it all is, that apart from putting in a bit of effort and applying some self-discipline, building your new life this way will cost you absolutely nothing.. while offering you absolutely everything! So read... study... ponder.. drift and have dreams. Be a single parent with double power!

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION 1

Chapter 1 : WHY DO YOU FEEL SO BAD? 3

Chapter 2 : PICKING YOURSELF UP 8
ACCEPTANCE 8
POWER PARTNER 12
POWER TALK 16
EXERCISE 18
PRESENT MOMENT LIVING 20

Chapter 3 : DISCOVERING WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT 23

Chapter 4 : GOAL POWER 26
Guidelines to writing effective goals p28 Ten power techniques to make goals manifest p29 Write your goals down p29 Write out a plan to achieve the goal p29 Set a time frame for the achievement of each goal p30 Put copies of the goals everywhere p31 Make a dream board p32 Contemplate your dream board every morning, as early as possible, and every evening, just before you sleep p32 Spend five minutes a day doing your power talks p33 Spend five minutes a day visualising the achievement of one of these goals p33 Act as if the goal was already a reality p34 Once a week write out your goals again p35 Once a week go over your goal plan, and modify if necessary p35

Chapter 5 : THE WHOLE YOU 37
MIND 38
BODY 38
EMOTION 41
SPIRIT 42
TRUTH 43

Chapter 6 : HAVING FUN 46

Chapter 7 : A PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE 47

Chapter 8 : MANAGING THE KIDS 55
STARTING OUT 55
REBUILDING YOUR FAMILY UNIT 56
Be the mother, be the adult in charge p56 Assure them that they are not responsible for the divorcep57 Put as much positive energy into your home environmentp57 Establish a routine as quickly as possible p57 Help your children through the emotional overload p57 When dealing with the children's emotions - turn your (negative) emotions off p58 Interpret unacceptable behaviour wherever possible p58 Redirect negative energies p59 Have fun with your kids p59 Get the children involved in your life p59 Avoid running your ex-husband down in front of the children p59 Post visit blues p60 Always try to get to their level p60 Be gentle with yourself p61
MOVING ON 61
Give them very clear instructions on the rules to keep safe p62 You need to teach them to take responsibility for themselves, and their siblings if necessary p63 You need to teach them to be independent thinkers p63 You need to teach them how to take decisions on their own p64 You need to give them a clear sense of their own rights and show them how to enforce these in the adult world p65 Give them a guiding philosophy to help them take the knocks, and come out as winners p65 Believe in your children p66 Discipline p66 Enjoy your children p68 Help from a higher power p68

Chapter 9 : YOUR CAREER 70
TECHNIQUES FOR ACHIEVING YOUR BUSINESS DREAMS 71 Work hard p71 Count the cost p71 Take on more responsibilities than expected of you p72 Guard yourself against the negative inputs of others p72 Don't be afraid to move on p73 Extend yourself p73 Risk p74 Balance the dream and reality p75 Success is a numbers game p75 Copy Cat p75 Walk tall p76 Power dressing p76 Dissatisfaction is an indicator that there is something better for you to do p76 Failure is success trying to happen in a different way p77 Doing the right job p77 Visibility p77 See the bigger picture p77 Make a contribution p78 Admit when you're wrong p78 Speak words of encouragement p78 Moving sideways p79 Associate with successful people p79 Acknowledge the human element p79 Be strong and assertive p79 Politics p80 Search for better ways of doing things p80 Looking for a gap p80 Focus p80 Passion power p81 Success is Journey p81 Believe in yourself. Have confidence p81 Achievement of small goals will lead to the achievement of big goals p81 The office is not the appropriate forum for display of excessive emotions (except joy) p82 Capitalise on your gender p82 Sexual overtures in the work-place p82 Work rhythms p82 Getting set up to go into the fast lane p82

Chapter 10 : ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS 84
The dating game 84 Relationship rituals 85 Establishing "new" rules for yourself in relationships p87 Don't have expectations p88 Live in the present moment p88 Change your beliefs about relationships p88 Forever - no longer relevant to today's society p89 Choosing good men versus exciting men p89 Get your needs filled p89 Say no p89 Coping with rejection p90 Relationships and the children p90 Juggling your needs and living a life worth copying p91 Love relationships are good to have p91 Relationships are a way of learning p91 Attracting the right type of person p92 Playing the game p92 Start off right p93 The best place to meet men p94 Needy women scare men off p94 A moment at a time p94 Confusing sex with intimacy p95 Relationships should enhance your life p95 Give him a few "tests" p95

Chapter 11 : PEACE : A GOAL 97
Living your truth p97 Living honestly p97 Admitting to others when you are wrong p98 Asking for forgiveness p99 Giving forgiveness p99 Expressing Love p100

Chapter 12 : THE POWER OF RIGHT 101

Chapter 13 : TAKE ACTION! 103

Chapter 14 : WHEN THINGS ARE NOT WORKING 104

Chapter 15 : YOUR POWER TO CHOOSE 106 .

About the author

Catherine Glennie runs her own business, Transform Training. She has designed courses to teach people how to achieve what they want to in life, and also speaks at seminars and conferences. Her divorce – and becoming a single parent – was a watershed experience in her life. By following the techniques presented in this book, she turned a lonely and frightening experience into one of exciting discovery and growth, in all areas of her life. Catherine has been a single parent for 18 years and lives with her young adult children in Cape Town
 
 

Readily available through the bookstores - Exclusive Books and the like

Cost : Exclusive was selling at about R80 whereas CNA was approx R99

"How To Talk So Kids Listen and Listen So Kids Talk" submitted by Laura Cairns
Authors: Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
Published by: Avon Books (my copy purchased at CNA)
Cost:R63.95 (1997)
I purchased this book on the recommendation of a child therapist. I worry about how I can give my child all the tools and techniques he will need for his future in life to be happy and rewarding.
This is an informative book with specific techniques to open and, importantly, keep open good lines of communication between parents and their children. The tone is practical and there are exercises which can be done individually or shared with other parents.
The author shows how good parent/child communication can be of significant benefit to the child, now and in the future, and the family. Good communication skills will re-inforce good self esteem and prepare the child for expressing needs and negotiating for them. I feel that many children are influenced by the histrionincs in TV shows which serve as poor examples of communication, this book is a very realistic and promising - the proof is in the pudding! Good lines of communication also have a major impact on the quality of the relationship between the parent and child. The examples drawn from the author's own experiences and those of a support group were interesting and useful, if a little syrupy sometimes for my tastes. In essence, the book was about respect. Showing respect for a child's feelings, thoughts and emotions teaches the child the importance of respect for other people's, including those of his or her own parents'.
This book sits alongside Toddler Taming on my 'emergency' shelf and I regularly dip into it for re-assurance and ideas.
Laura Cairns
Cape Town
Single Mothers Network

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